This is the most Urban sentence possible. Mean, probably too simple, and not entirely wrong.
I want to be mad but he basically hit the bruise.
Say what you want about him, the man knows what a locker room actually requires.
He is acting like Mansour got hired because he won a Madden league. There are serious evaluation people who respect him.
“Serious evaluation people” is what you say when you do not have “coordinators” or “wins.”
I hate this website.
Both things can be true: Urban is being a jerk and MSU made an objectively insane hire.
Urban woke up, saw MSU trending, and chose bullying.
If this works I need Urban to read an apology off a notecard at midfield.
He will never apologize. He will say “I always said it depended on staff structure.” Book it.
Starting the upside guy makes sense. I hate that it makes sense.
Milivojevic stabilized the offense last year. You do not just toss that aside because the freshman has a prettier deep ball.
This is exactly what a first-time coach does when he wants to prove he is smarter than the room.
Or it is what a rebuilding team does when it knows the stable option is not enough to change the ceiling.
Maybe. But if Hannan looks overwhelmed, every “ceiling” argument becomes very funny.
Please let his first pass be a screen into the dirt. I need this.
This fan base is going to grade one slant like it is the LSAT.
We get either the freshman’s first road start or a fan base already screaming for the backup. Week 3 is going to be theatre.
Everyone arguing QB and I am simply here for redshirt freshman TE propaganda.
Give Cam the ball 22 times and let the children sort themselves out.
I want 31-3 at half and I want to feel nothing. Give me numb competence.
If it is 7-7 after the first quarter I am going to become a Nextdoor post.
I keep trying to preview the actual game and my brain just says “what the fuck, we are actually doing this.”
Same. Like the joke part ended and now a redshirt freshman has to throw a dig route.
The LBs should look good. That is my comfort blanket. Hall, White, Pretzlaff, Crawford, Stodghill. If THAT room looks messy I am going into the lake.
Tre Bell blitz off the slot on the first drive and I will forgive the press release.
Jayden Savoury seam ball. That is all I ask. I have become a sicko over a TE who has not done anything yet.
I do not trust anything about this but I will be in my seat 40 minutes early because I am an idiot.
My bar is: no special teams crime, no weird sideline camera shot, Hannan survives, Cam looks good, nobody important gets hurt.
As an outsider, this is the funniest possible opener because MSU cannot gain anything emotionally. They can only avoid catastrophe.
That is literally the program motto right now. Avoid catastrophe.
Need one Chris Piwowarczyk kickoff tackle so the Flint agenda begins.
Campus mood is weird. People are clowning it but everyone is absolutely going to watch. Nobody wants to admit they are curious.
Y’all are so busy melting down you forgot we are allowed to show up and be annoying.
Please do not.
Jayden Savoury. I have decided he is a matchup problem based on almost no public evidence and I will not be taking questions.
Tre Bell. Big slot who can blitz and tackle is exactly the kind of role this defense needs if the 4-2-5 is going to be real.
Braylon Collier. If he is actually technically refined this early, that is a real sign the young WR room might have something.
Chris Piwowarczyk. Walk-on thumper from the Flint area getting SAM snaps. I love a deeply specific role player arc.
Jordan Hall because I need at least one adult on defense to be exactly what I think he is.
Cam Edwards is obvious but I do not care. Best player should look like the best player.
Interior OL. Not a player, but if they cannot move Grambling I am skipping directly to portal season.
The actual player I am watching is my blood pressure.
I have read this headline seven times and it keeps getting funnier.
Every single word after “Michigan State expected to hire” made it worse.
The funny thing is his draft content was genuinely good. The unfunny thing is that being good at draft content is not being a Big Ten head coach.
that second sentence is doing a LOT of work lol
I am trying to be fair while also understanding this sounds insane.
I survived the end of Dantonio, Mel Tucker, the Jonathan Smith coma ball era, and now I have to google “football czar.”
I hate that I can talk myself into this for about eleven seconds at a time.
Little brother hired a literal band kid to stop being little brother. The writers are getting lazy.
As a former trombone, I reject the slander. As an MSU fan, I have no further comment.
Everyone laughing now. Rutgers will 100% lose to this in November. I know my team.
I am not even mad. I am just tired and intrigued, which might be worse.
This is either the next weird trend or something ADs cite in court depositions.